Click the large "Play" button to hear our inspirational song by Jewel.
When witnessing an abusive situation, it's easy to think, "What can I do? I'm only one person," or "It's not my business," or simply pretend it's not happening. We feel it is your obligation to help a friend in an abusive relationship. The attitude of "there's nothing I can do" is one reason why relationship violence continues to grow.
Being a friend of a victim of violence is not always easy. Just remember to be understanding, and not judging.
Encourage medical attention and police support when emergencies arise. Always let them know you care and its not their fault. Let them know their loved and not alone. Encourage separation or divorce upon abusive relationships. NEVER encourage staying with the abuser.
Numbers to call for help:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) National Child Abuse Hotline: 1.800.4A.CHILD (42-24453) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1.800.656.HOPE (4673) For all emergencies dial 911.
Give your friend the gift of hope. Request a free 911 cell phone for their safety. Offer to charge it at your house, so they can use it in emergencies. Click "Free 911 Cell Phones" to the left of this page for more information.
Teen Dating Violence
Get Involved as an Individual
These are places to start. They are some small, yet effective ways to help:
1. Call the behavior what it is. Tell your friend that there's a difference between being abusive and having a bad day.
2. Don't put up with language that promotes abusive behavior and attitudes. This is language like "wife beaters" (a t-shirt) or other foul language that promotes abuse. If you are not comfortable calling other people on it, lead by example and remove it from your own vocabulary.
3. Approach this as a shared issue. Either a man or a woman can be the victim. Either can be the abuser. Both can serve as good role models for each other.
4. Analyze your own actions and beliefs. Try to understand how your own attitudes and actions might allow violence.
5. Support others working to end violence. Attends events and/or volunteer.
6. Be an example for those younger than you. Show that you care about the issues, and they will care too. If they learn about the issues early, they will be better-prepared in the future.
